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A man’s inability to perform a sexual act can be debilitating to his mental health. It is also one of the most commonly experienced health concerns by a man. Almost every man, at some point in time in his life will complain of this health ailment, unfortunately. The cycle of erectile dysfunction can spiral quickly downwards into a frustrating and emotional situation for both the man, and any relationship he is pursuing.
There are three stages to the erection process in a man; any of these three stages can host physical or emotional health problems that create a dysfunction.
At the first stage, which is arousal, a man receives stimulation from only his thoughts and/or senses. During the second stage, a man’s brain is talking to the arousal function, telling the body to increase blood flow to the penis. At the final, third stage, the blood vessels of the penis enlarge, allowing more blood to flow through and therefore an erection to occur. If anything inhibits, disrupts or confuses any of these processes, erectile dysfunction may ensue.
A Man’s Health: The Facts about Erectile Dysfunction
A man is more likely to ask for help about his health problems than a woman is;
At times the resolution of the problem can be as simple as contraception, communication, reassurance and information sharing;
It affects almost every man at some point in time in his life, no matter what his health status;
Almost one third of a man’s partners will also have a sexual, or health, dysfunction;
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
A Man’s Health: The Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction
There are quite a few physical reasons why a man may be having health problems surrounding his erectile functions. They include: effects from surgery, trauma to the penis or testicles, diseases or conditions (such as diabetes, flu, renal failure, Parkinson’s disease, etc.), drug abuse, medications (such as antidepressants, high blood pressure medications, etc.), smoking, hormonal imbalances, too much alcohol intake, and the aging process.
A Man’s Health: The Psychological Causes of Erectile Dysfunction
If all of the physical health reasons for a man not to have normal erectile function have been covered, then the psychological reasons are closely looked at next. These could include: lowered sexual desire, depression, mental fatigue, stress, guilt, problems with the relationship, lack of interest in sex from their partner or anxiety disorders.
A Man’s Health: Treatments for Erectile Dysfunction
The best way to treat a man’s problem with his health is to first discuss the issues with your doctor, and then with your partner. Both are important in determining not only the causes of the problem, but appropriate treatments as well. Some treatments used regularly are: counseling, intracavernosal drugs (such as prostaglandin E.), education/advice, drugs (such as Sildenafil), vacuum devices, prosthetics, or surgery.
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Summer time means outdoors and delightfully scanty clothing. It’s a time to kick free of winter restrictions, and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, the beach parties, barbecues, volley ball games, picnics.
Are you pleased with your silhouette in summer clothing? Do you wonder if you have a good figure in a bathing suit? Perhaps you’d like to have a better proportioned figure and fill out your shirt more? Breast implants are a possibility you might want to consider.
You have choices
There are choices as to where the incisions are made and it partly depends on you and your surgeon’s preferences. The type of implant, location of incision and size are all decisions that your surgeon will help you with. Most people now have saline implants though the FDA has recently re-approved the use of silicone gel implants.
One of the great features of saline breast implants is that they can be inserted empty. This means the incision can be quite small, since the implant is rolled up into a small tube and then filled after it’s in position.
Breast enlargement incision sites
There are four possibilities for where your plastic surgeon can place the breast enlargement incisions. They are:
· In the armpit (axillary incision) – this is about an inch long and only visible when you raise your arms.
· In the breast crease (inframammary crease incision) – this one is about 1.5 inches long, running along underneath the breast. It is usually only be visible upon close inspection.
· At the areola (peri-areola incision) – this incision is a small semi-circle, around the lower edge of the areola (the darkened area surrounding the nipple). It can be scarcely visible since the changes in skin here will camouflage it well. Future breastfeeding will be unlikely with this choice of location.
· At the belly button (transumbilical incision) – this one is a small semi-circle around the lower inside edge of the belly button and will be barely visible. With this choice of location, only the one incision is needed for both implants.
So with all these choices, scars for your breast implants will be small and discreet.
Match your lifestyle
Saline breast implants come in many sizes and your breast surgeon will discuss with you how best to match the implants to your overall size and proportion. Breast implants can also be:
· Round or contoured like a teardrop
· Smooth-surfaced or textured
Regardless of which incision site you choose, or which type of implant, you’ll still be able to wear bathing suits and low necklines and participate in any kind of summer activity, no matter how active. You’ll be able to sport your new silhouette all summer long with no worries.
Finding a good cosmetic surgeon
Since cosmetic surgery has become so popular in the last 10 years or so, some doctors have taken short cut training to take advantage of this at a disservice to the general public. You want a properly trained and experienced surgeon, not one who might gain his basic experience on you! Choose a plastic surgeon who’s certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery (ABPS), and one who’s a member of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) and the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS).
While you should by all means listen to your friends and acquaintances who may have had cosmetic surgery and want to recommend their doctor to you you should do your homework too, and check the doctor’s credentials.
Some questions to ask when interviewing plastic surgeons
· Do you have hospital privileges, and if so, which hospitals?
· Can you do the procedure in the hospital if I want to?
· If you do surgery in other facilities, are they accredited?
· How many breast reductions have you done?
· Can I speak to some of your previous patients about their experience with it?
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Who doesn't love good gift baskets? They contain a variety of goodies for your party guests or they work equally as well for birthday gifts. And gift baskets are extremely versatile; you can present a themed gift basket for just about any occasion. Remember the Easter bunny brings gift baskets too.
You can make a simple gift basket for your friendly neighborhood dog lover or dog. Go out and buy some cheap squeakers and chew toys. Maybe pick up a rawhide bone or tasty treat or two. If you know the dog's favorite dog food buy a bag or cans of it. For a fun container find a smallish cardboard box that will hold everything. Decorate the outside with bone shapes cut out of newspaper and write in black marker, 'free to good home' on the front. Then crunch up a lot of newspaper and place in the bottom to support the items. Arrange them in the box and wrap the whole thing in clear cellophane with a big white, grey or rawhide colored bow on top.
For your next bachelorette or bridal shower party gift, make up a naughty basket. You may have to venture into an adult store for some of the items. Buy your friend a year's subscription to playgirl magazine and put the first issue inside the basket. There are flavored lotions and powders you can buy in the stores. Buy and open a box of condoms to scatter around the basket. For a more romantic tone you can also add incense and candles. For a more outrageous basket, buy a blow up penis and use it as the centerpiece of the gift basket. Place items inside the basket and wrap it in red cellophane.
Of course there are plenty of family friendly kinds of gift baskets you can make for your friends and relatives, just think about what they like and what their hobbies are.
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Anyone can become enraged once in a while. But if you feel rage boiling within almost constantly, or rage erupts from you frequently, you may have an organic illness.
On the other hand, you might have suffered some terrible injustice as a child.
One major, but largely ignored, category of such abuse is that of boys emotionally, physically, or sexually damaged by women.
This abuse is not only widespread but may be at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men.
A little boy abused by a woman suffers in similar ways to a little girl abused by a man.
In recent times it has become acceptable for women to speak out about the abuse they suffered as children; most men feel no such permission is given to them about the abuse they suffered as little boys at the hands of women. These men are ashamed, and enraged.
They are enraged because society accepts that men can be angry but there is less acceptance for the male victims' feelings of hurt, fear, inadequacy, guilt, embarrassment, and especially weakness and vulnerability.
A male victim smothers these emotions with anger. In this way, he preserves his masculine image. But the cost is enormous.
A man unaware of the deep sources of his anger will, at the least, have troubled relationships with women; at the worst, he may rape and mutilate.
A male victim of childhood sexual abuse by women displays the following behavior as an adult:
>> Distrust of women.
>> Fear of intimacy.
>> No separate identity.
>> Readily feels guilt.
>> Hard time to accept compliments.
>> Holds back emotions.
>> Protects abuser(s).
>> Sexual difficulties.
>> Seeks abuser's approval.
>> Constantly apologises.
>> Fearful.
>> Eager to care for others.
>> Joyless. (Adapted from Blanchard, 1987*)
The lousy feelings often erupt as rage. Ronald sought professional help to change his vicious behavior toward his wife, Helen.
Ronald would arrive home disgruntled after a disappointing day (every day was disappointing) in the architectural office where he worked, and an hour's drive to the suburb.
Before long, he would be kicking Helen. There was always some pretext for the kicks. (Helen did not have supper ready, or she was on the phone, or she wore a dress he hated...). Ronald never used his fists. Always his legs. He despaired of his uncontrollable rage because he believed that “Helen was the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
As Ronald talked more about his life, his hostility to almost everyone became evident. He was jealous of his brothers, sneered at their choices of wives, hated his job where he felt put upon, especially by female colleagues.
When Ronald spoke about his mother, he whined. Long stories of how she favored one or other of his brothers, how he cringed in her presence, how he avoided visits to her house yet was jealous of her contacts with his siblings. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his nephews, adding bitterly, “Though my son was the first grandchild.”
Hypnotherapy Heals the Hurt and the Rage
Within the comfort of hypnosis Ronald was able to connect his present-day woes with unpleasant incidents in his childhood.
This was accomplished with what hypnotherapists call an “affect link.” You allow yourself to feel a particular emotion, such as grief. As you continue to experience the feeling, the hypnotherapist asks you to recall an earlier time when you felt the same way. Ronald's confused mix of bitterness, rage and sense of abandonment, swiftly drew up a memory of his mother:
“I'm six years old. Mummy keeps telling me I'm her favorite. She tells me to come into her bed. It's warm there. I fall asleep, snuggled beside her. I wake up. She's moving my leg up and down over this hairy place between her legs. She's breathing funny. I'm scared. [Sobs]. She opens her eyes a little and tells me it's okay. My knee is wet. I try to pull away but she holds onto me, tells me to be a good boy, do this for Mummy. She seems out of breath. I'm scared. Then she shakes and cries out. I'm even more scared and I feel bad, like something's really wrong. I ask Mummy if she's all right. She turns to me with a big smile, hugs me and says I'm her little man and everything is fine. [More sobs, reddening of face].
“But everything is not fine. I don't understand. Mummy tells me this will be our special secret. She seems happy. And she likes me best. So I keep quiet. And whenever she asks me I let her use my leg to rub her where she wants. [Later Ronald described other sexual activity his mother initiated]. I begin to like it, too. When I get old enough to have an erection, Mummy plays with my penis. I really like that. But at the same time it feels kind of weird. This stuff went on till I was eleven. I found out at school what sex was supposed to be, and how bad it was what Mummy and me had been doing. I felt sick.”
With psychotherapy while he relaxed in hypnosis, Ronald made some progress toward a healthier life, and control of his rage.
Unfortunately, his wife sabotaged the treatment. Ronald, like many sexually abused victims, had (unconsciously) sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a child.
Helen had made no secret of her broad sexual experience prior to meeting Ronald; indeed, she was proud of it. But her knowledge of the carnal world and his relative innocence (sex with only one woman: his mother) repeated the power pattern Ronald had suffered as a boy.
When Helen saw that Ronald was learning to control his rage, to lessen his hostile attitude and to relax, she counterattacked. Helen had married Ronald because (unconsciously) she wanted a man she could dominate and despise. His therapy threatened to upset the delicate dance of danger they had created.
Ronald was swiftly reduced to a sniveling, angry puppet when Helen sneered at his progress and repeatedly reminded him of what a Mummy's boy he had been.
A final blow bounced Ronald out of therapy: Helen telephoned the therapist, discussed Ronald's history, and insisted the therapist not mention her call to Ronald. The following week Helen casually mentioned to Ronald something the therapist had said to her. Ronald felt betrayed [he was] and never returned to therapy.
You may be doing very well with hypnotherapy when a friend or relative sabotages your progress. This is not usually as dramatic or underhanded as Helen's behavior. The disruption comes in the form of doubt. Your friend may question the effectiveness of hypnosis, and cite the many hypnosis myths that still pollute our minds.
Once doubt is planted, hypnosis ends. Doubt and fear keep us from relaxation. And relaxation is the route into hypnotherapy.
Dennis, like Ronald, suffered fits of rage. Unlike Ronald, Dennis took these fits out on himself. He would tremble, and shake, and sweat and fear he was about to pass out. Dennis knew his ambition to become a police officer would never be realized unless he got over these fits. Like Ronald, he had troubled relationships with women.
Unlike Ronald, Dennis had slept with dozens of women. All his longer-term relationships collapsed over an aspect of jealousy, his or hers. Didn't matter. Dennis could not trust a woman.
Dennis deliberately sought out a male psychotherapist who sometimes used hypnosis. But so scared was Dennis of going into hypnosis, that he spent several sessions in traditional psychotherapy before he had plucked up enough courage to try hypnosis.
Mothers Are Not The Only Women Who Abuse Little Boys
As far as Dennis knew, he had not been molested by his mother. Actually, he was not even sure who his biological mother was. He had been born into a large, extended criminal family. He had lived in seven different homes by the time he was five. All but one were homes of his aunts, cousins or siblings. He got used to calling each aunt in turn “mother.” The woman listed on his birth certificate showed no more, and no less, maternal interest in Dennis than did any of her sisters who raised him.
From as far back as he could remember, Dennis had been abused: abandoned, ignored, ill-fed, beaten, locked in a closet.
The therapist helped Dennis sort out the multitude of feelings that swirled within him.
Finally, Dennis said he was ready to try hypnosis. He was still frightened, despite the therapist's explanations about the safety of the process. But it was not hypnosis itself that Dennis feared; it was what might be uncovered.
In one way, he was right to be wary. But what was uncovered, awful as it was, freed Dennis from the last symbolic chains that linked him to his abusive family and their criminal ways.
In hypnosis, Dennis traced his attacks of trembling to some disgusting sexual behavior of one of his aunts when he was about four. What she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. It had been so horrible he had repressed the details for years, though “I knew something had happened; I just didn't know what.”
Now that he knew what lay at the root of his rage and his attacks, Dennis was able to let go of them. He felt forgiveness for his aunt because he knew of her own dreadful background. It was as if to know what she had done liberated Dennis from any lingering loyalty to his criminal relatives (all of whom were involved in drug deals, prostitution, extortion, etc.).
Now Dennis felt fully comfortable with his decision to apply to the local police training college.
*Blanchard, Geral. (1987). Male Victims of Child Sexual Abuse: A Portent of Things to Come, Journal of Independent Social Work, 1-1, 19-27.
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There is a new restaurant in Beijing - a specialty penis restaurant. Their fare includes penises that once dangled proud and strong from yaks and oxen, seals and dogs, horses and donkeys. You name it, they have it!
I am mostly a vegetarian but I am planning a trip to Beijing soon and I am not taking my wife with me. She's an absolute vegan. When she was last here in China she was shocked when our companion stopped mid-track and slapped the trunk of a tree, picked out a dead insect that looked like a cricket and promptly dispatched it's edible portions into his mouth. He looked happy and said it was delicious but my wife! She was shocked. Later, he took us to a restaurant where stir-fried crickets were the specialty of the house. We couldn't say no as our companion was hosting two Germans, as well, who were willing to try anything. The restaurant floor was stacked inches deep with left overs of crickets, their shells and the like. If that was bad for my wife Beijing would be murder.
China Daily described the restaurant as being 'situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West Lake'. Penises or testicles are a part of every dish at restaurant. Of course, one has the option of choosing one's favourite - yes, penis!
Chinese cuisine, developed over thousands of years, considers not only taste and appearance but also the medicinal value of food. Traditional Chinese Medicine has long relied on animal body parts to heal and give health and vigour. Eating penises (penes) is believed to increase the yang essence or virility. It's believed to be good for both men and women. But, testicles! They're for men only, unless women are game for an extra dose of testosterone. However, testicles are believed to be good for the skin and women interested in adding that extra sheen can venture to try some.
For first-timers, the recommended dish is a huoguo or a hotpot, a dish filled with chicken stock and a sampling of six different penises. The restaurant boasts trained waitresses and also a nutritionist, ready to explain the medicinal value of different foods to ignorant or curious clients.
The restaurant 'showpieces', the imaginatively named "Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet" (from Xinjiang horses) and "Dragon in the Flame of Desire" (yak - steamed, fried and flambeed) priced at US$ 35 (RMB 280) and US$ 50 (RMB 400) respectively, don't come cheap in a country where some families survive on less than that for a month. But, gourmet penis dining is not for the ordinary folk.
But, if this sounds expensive, a portion of Canadian seal's penis (advance order booking necessary), at US$ 380 (RMB 3000) will leave you poor indeed!
Beijing, here I come!
(I hope my wife did not hear that!)
