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The holidays are touted to be the time of year to be joyful and most of all have fun and spend time with family and/or friends. For some, however, the holidays when families and/or friends gather to celebrate and share the joy of the season are not joyful. Because family matters are conducted behind closed doors this 'unhappy event' goes unnoticed and the victim of this cruel experience takes its toll. I speak of the unspeakable—sexual child abuse. Countless children are abused at family gatherings. While everyone is talking, laughing and having a good time, beloved Uncle Lewey, Grandpa or family friend, walks out of the living room (ostensibly to go to the bathroom) but instead goes into his niece's/granddaughter's or family friend’s room, where she is 'hanging out.' He nonchalantly chats with her and before she realizes what he is about to do, he has planted a kiss on her lips and forced his tongue into her mouth and/or fondles her breast. He then tells her she is so sexy he couldn’t stop himself, she is very special and it is their secret or he threatens her that if she tells he will say she is a 'liar' or worse yet, she 'came onto' him. Thus, she is forced into silence and shame. While I realize this scenario is difficult to fathom, it is all too real and all too frequent. However, this scenario doesn't need to end tragically, something can be done to prevent or mitigate it. No one is born a molester, yet all too often victims become perpetrators. Sexual child abuse has become a family tradition-Uncle Lewey was abused by his father, mother, uncle, cousin or aunt and now he has abused his niece. Or grandpa was abused by someone and he now has abused his granddaughter. How, you may ask, can this be possible when so many people are around-no one would risk being seen sexually abusing a child? Unfortunately, this rationalization merely avoids accepting the truth about sexual abuse perpetrators. It only takes a second to abuse a child. Furthermore, few people recognize what constitutes sexual child abuse. Sexual touch—a sensuous or ‘wet’ kiss on the lips, touching or fondling erogenous areas cause as much trauma as genital contact. All sexual abuse and/or sexual touch is damaging because it is first and foremost a betrayal of trust. PREVENTION is possible. However, for a child to be able to prevent this experience, she or he needs to have knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection. Without knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection, the only defense a child has against any kind of abuse is to accept the blame. A child cannot conceive the idea, "My father, uncle, mother, grandpa, grandma, aunt, brother, sister, cousin, friend, teacher, or baby-sitter is sick and is harming me." Therefore, the only way to survive sexual abuse or incest is to assume that it is his or her fault. A child has unquestioning trust for everyone in the family or persons of acquaintance or authority. Parents generally teach girls to be passive, compliant, non-assertive, co-operative and reward them for doing so. Girls are raised to be 'quiet, sweet and pretty' they are never to make a 'scene.' It is not surprising then, that girls are (according to statistics) twice as likely to be sexually abused. Perpetrators know who and how to target their victims. Boys are taught, expected and praised to be tough and self-assured, even at times when something troubles them. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior usually means passivity while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Self-protection offers a direct and effective way to empower children to help themselves. Since perpetrators cunningly and with forethought sets the stage to perpetrate this crime in secrecy, who is better able than the child to protect him or herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize; they sense this by the child's demeanor, body language and facial expressions. They sense the fear, the helplessness, their compliant attitude and their passivity. Perpetrators choose victims who they assume will keep their secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. The first response the majority of people form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. 'I do not have to be concerned about that in my community. This would never happen in my family.' The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He or she may be a leader in the church, in the community or in business. He or she does not fit a classic stereotype and is not necessarily uneducated, unemployed, impoverished or an alcoholic. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused. 'Traditionally, incest was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors)." Sexual abuse can be as subtle (covert) as any person showing pornographic pictures or movies to a child. It is any man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her. It is anyone consistently invading a child's privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed. It is playfully pulling her swimsuit bottom down in the pool or pulling her panties down without her permission. Sexual abuse is anyone bathing the child when the child is old enough to bathe herself. It is any person who touches or caresses the child in ways she does not like or in ways that are sexual. It is any man holding a child on his lap when he has an erection. It is any trusted adult who stares at or makes comments about the child's body. It is anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver. It is seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling, or playing which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. Sexual abuse is as blatant (overt) as instructing or asking the child to lie in bed in an intimate position, fondling, digital, penis or object penetration of the rectum or vagina, or instructing a child to perform oral sex or performing oral sex on the child. It is forcing the child to touch others or be touched by others, including other children. A classic example of covert sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to what was the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been sexually abused when she was nine by a 'nice man,' who was a family friend. "He helped me on with my coat while attending a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast." This type fondling is often times referred to as 'coping a feel.' No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. As an adult woman you know how icky it feels when a man 'cops a feel.' Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced? Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she or he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his or her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his or her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with himself or herself because he or she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her or him acts as if nothing is wrong. Thus, she or he feels crazy, as if she or he is the one with the problem. A classic example of overt sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported about seeing her father (her perpetrator) kiss her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece had taken a bath. Her sister, the child's mother, the child's grandmother, (wife of the perpetrator) were present. "My sister and mother (the child's grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting," she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in recovery and could clarify the experience she would not have considered it sexual abuse either. The frightening truth about sexual abuse and incest perpetrators is that within their mindset, they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Because of a child's innocence and trust of the abuser, usually pressure or violence is not required. Thus, the sexual abuse or incest perpetrator can unequivocally state, "Never ever. I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I am." Michael Jackson, 1993. Sexual abuse and incest perpetrators frequently pass lie detector tests. They feel no inner conflict with what they have done. Their moral and ethical values do not reflect the standards on which the test is based. If you have the slightest cause for concern, trust your intuition and seek professional intervention. Trusting and acting on our intuition or sixth sense is paramount to protecting children from perpetrators, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. When intuitiveness or a sixth sense has been activated in detecting danger, it can be identified by a change in one's physiology. First: Accept the fact that sexual abuse perpetrators may seem very average and ordinary to the world. In spite of all the reports of sexual abuse by pillars of the community-teachers, clergy, coaches, we still want to cling to the belief that a sexual abuse perpetrator is the disheveled man with a scraggly beard, wearing a dirty trench coat. It is difficult to believe the people we like, admire, trust and love would do such a heinous thing. Second: Accept the definition of sexual abuse. (See definition above) Third: Know the signs your child is being targeted: Self-protection offers a direct and effective method for children to protect themselves. Who, other than the child, is in a better position to protect him/herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize. They can tell by the child's demeanor, body language, and facial expression. They sense the fear, the helplessness, the passivity. They chose a child who is easily intimidated or controlled so hopefully the child won't tell. Secrecy is paramount for the perpetrator. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior is usually passivity, while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Sexual crimes against children can only be committed if the perpetrator finds someone who will hopefully keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. There are seven child tested, parent approved sexual child abuse prevention techniques, which will protect your child from the most cunning predators. If you heed and investigate these warning signals you can prevent continued abuse. Warning signals include: • * an aversion to a person, place or event. • * outbursts of anger and there is no apparent reason known for such anger. • * any unusual or unexplained behavior change. Ceasing an activity that was once done without hesitation. • * not wanting to be around a particular person. • * family member/friend seems to foster a relationship with your child more for him/herself than for your child. • * secretiveness between the child and adult Fourth: What to do: • * Teach Good/Appropriate Touch with regard to anyone. • * Teach Appropriate Body Boundaries with regard to anyone. • * Foster Self-Esteem and Good Body Image • * Teach the "Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything-No Secrets rule. • * Allow your child to command respect regarding dislikes and touch with family members, friends or authority figures. • * Talk with and listen to your child until you are satisfied the aversion is unrelated to improper behavior by anyone. • * Check on your child occasionally whenever they are with another adult or other times to become 'known' as an attentive parent. • * Trust and honor your child's intuitive reactions. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone, respect their intuitive sense—honor their intuitive sense. • * Appropriate Suspicion—trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense is paramount. If you have confusion regarding a person's actions, nagging/persistent thoughts or feelings, hesitation, general suspicion, apprehension, fear, doubt, a hunch, curiosity regarding a person's actions or statements, or questions regarding a person's proclamation that is not substantiated by their actions—trust your intuition or sixth sense. • * If you err in evaluating the situation, make the error on the side of caution. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child's interest. • * Remember it only takes a second to sexually abuse anyone—child or adult vimax penis enlargement program pnis enlargement excercises vimax penis enlargement pills penile enlargement testimonials penis enlargment testimonials penis enlagement surgery photo penile enlargement patch pennis enlargement patch
There is alot of talk across both the online and offline worlds at the moment about the new male enhancement supplement Vimax. Reportedly Vimax has been proven over 500 000 cases to have substantially improved penis size, in some cases by up to 4 inches in length and 25% in girth. So what is this new supplement? How does it work? Here goes: Vimax is a combination of various natural herbal supplements that have been used for generations by more primitive folk, (for example one particular herb apparently found in Polynesia where men of the Mangaian tribe have sex an average of 3 times per night!) to increase blood flow, improve sexual function and cause growth of the soft tissues of the penis itself. Unlike some of its more famous counterparts such as Viagara or Cialis, Vimax is not a prescription, chemical formula. This means that it has no side effects, which we all know, when talking about those regions are definitely not something you want! Vimax works by increasing blood flow to the three main clusters of blood vessels in the shaft of the penis causing them to expand and over time grow to accommodate the extra circulation. Generally after 4 weeks users claim to see noticeable increases in the girth of their penises as a result of this increased blood flow. The most appropriate analogy is that of a balloon increasing in size as it expands with air. In the same way, the penis expands in size as it expands with blood. Vimax is a safe alternative to penis enlargement and carries much less fear than other common penis enlargement methods such as pumps and extenders. Thankfully it can be taken with no possibility of pain or damage to the genitals. To get the best results from Vimax, the recommended dosage is no more than one tablet per day, making it easier and more convenient than treatments requiring 3-4 dosages to meet daily quotas. Not only that, this also means that Vimax can be obtained and taken more cost effectively as each bottle lasts over one month. Also, a very important issue in the purchase of male enhancement products is that of privacy. Vimax can be ordered and sent via discreet payment and shipment methods, with a general charged by statement appearing on your credit card and a blankly labelled package being delivered to your door so there is no chance of anyone knowing about it but you. enhancement forum free matter penis size compare penis enlargement pills truth about penis enlagement pills do pennis enlargement pills work truth about penis enargement natural penis enlargment exercise vimax penis enlargement stretcher penis enhancement operation natural penile enlargment pills
Since the dawn of civilization the culminating point of a love relationship between two lovers was described as making physical love, or in a raw language ‘having sex’. Ancient and modern literature from most of the cultures have taken the concept of love making to the level of ecstasy and art. Psychologists found out through analysis that sex plays most important role in a love relationship, within lovers as well as between husband and wife. State laws have allowed divorce on the basis of inability to have sex in either of the married couple. Sexuality is an important part of life, and the impact is undeniable, both mentally and physically. To both sexes, male and female, sexual prowess and sexual ability to have sex is associated with their inner ego. But what happens when your ego is hurt at the bottom? Erectile dysfunction is something that hits a man below the belt and leaves the man hopeless and extremely frustrated. The consequences of ED do not wait for my explanations; I know you can very well understand. May be some of you, who are reading my article, have actually gone through this phase of life, or presently going through. Until recently, erectile dysfunction was a hush-hush matter and men were ashamed of discussing their penile weakness even to their doctor. Avoiding sex night after night giving meaningless excuses, on the other hand, leads to making the wives doubtful of their husbands’ fooling around. Men were leading life as if there were no solution to it; this conclusion was drawn after going through all the “operation impossible” s. I know it is a long story of pain and suffering. Hold it before you lose the last hope, there is a spark of light at the end of the tunnel…Viagra. You have heard about it but never tried it, am I right? Are you expecting any kind of assurance from a trusted source that you will not be blind after taking Viagra pill? Let me tell you that its not Viagra that caused the blindness but it was the reaction and the outcome of taking Viagra without prescription and not abiding by the restrictions given on the label. Again, Sildenafil, the main ingredient of Viagra, not only gives you strong erection per pill, it actually treat Priapism, a disease related to painful erection for more than 6 hours without any sexual stimulation or desire. At the same time, Viagra can slowly correct mechanism of the blood flow to the penis. If you were reluctant on the issue of discussing your ED with your wife, just go and see your physician and talk to him about your physical condition, ask him if you can take Viagra and get back to normal sexual life. I do not consider the idea of living with ED as a good one. Since the introduction of Viagra, things have changed so fast that people are no longer referring to male erection problem as impotence, but a new term has popped up for it, ‘erectile dysfunction’ that is more scientific and less ego-hurting. Impotence is no longer a male characteristic or image, rather a name of a disease that is treatable. The impossible was made possible only by Viagra, the pioneer pill in treating erectile dysfunction. Why do not you try and enjoy even better sexual life? penis enlarement natural penile enlargment technique penis elargement without pills enhancement forum free matter penis size penis enhancement secret enlargement forum free matter pennis size free penis enargement pills penile enlargement program natural penile enlargment pills
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite kids anymore and not really adolescents they are caught in the middle in type of limbo. It is a sad time for many young people too. Many look back at their childhood and realise that they can never really act the same way yet they look ahead and realise that adolescence will present them with its own peculiar challenges. Children are reaching adolescence earlier than ever. The World Health Organisation estimates that in developing countries puberty begins about three months earlier every ten years. It is a stage when the maturity gap between girls and boys is quite evident - about two years. Puberty is a time of immense body changes. The male and sex hormones are different and set off different development in girls and boys. Bodily changes are more evident for girls are accompanied by huge mood swings, which can be disconcerting fro parents. The onset of puberty is not so obvious for boys. The first physical sign boys may notice is the enlargement of the testes, followed by growth of pubic hair. Testosterone, the male hormone, also affects mood swings but it arguably leads to increased energy and boisterousness. Many parents discover that their pre-teen son delights in wrestling with siblings or even his father in what is a sort of test of strength. Paradoxically, many early teen boys need more sleep and eat parents out of house and home. Pre teens have a need for greater privacy so they spend more and more time in bedrooms, locked in bathrooms or arguing with younger siblings about personal space. During puberty peers begin to assume increasing importance in young people’s lives. Their opinions, their dress and appearance is increasingly influenced by their friends. It can be hurtful for a parent to discover that you are less influential than your child’s friends, particularly if you enjoyed a close relationship when they were younger. It is a time when the telephone often becomes usurped, particularly by girls. Incidentally, girls can be quite cruel to each other at this age forming friendship groups along extremely exclusive lines. It is time for parents to be a little circumspect – a time for guidance and influence rather than control. Make no mistake children during this time of change need their parents more than ever. The way you go about helping them changes - subtle, gentle guidance is often required. This particular stage provides a window of opportunity for parents. It is a time to help prepare your child for adolescence and even adulthood. It is a time for parents to establish a relationship based on mutual respect and shared interest. And it is the start of an exciting period in your child’s development that requires thoughtful and smart parenting. penis enargement surgery picture truth about penis enlargment pills penis enargement surgery picture penis elargement forum pro fitness health solution pennis enlargement picture vimax penis enlargement forum penile enlargment before and after photo natural penile enlargment pills
With an ex-Presidential candidate as its pitchman, more mentions on late-night talk shows than Joan Embry and the dubious honor of being the world’s top pharmaceutical treatment for impotence, few drugs in history have been more in the public eye more than Viagra – or gotten more attention for affecting the public's eyes. Along with its impact below the belt, Viagra (Sildenafil Citrate) is well-documented to cause retinal dysfunction lasting several hours after it is taken. Most commonly, it causes increased light sensitivity, blurring, and a bluish tint or haze to vision in many men who take the medication. Since receiving FDA approval in March 1998, Viagra has been prescribed more than 22 million times in the U.S. alone and is available in 90 other countries, according to manufacturer Pfizer. Here’s what you need know about Viagra and your vision: Who is most likely to get ocular side effects? Viagra is available in three prescribed doses – 25, 50 and 100 mg pills. Side effects are usually dose-related, meaning the greater the dosage, the greater the risk. According to reports by Pfizer and subsequent studies, ocular side effects occur in: About 3 percent of men taking doses of 25-50 mg About 11 percent taking 100 mg doses About 50 percent of men taking 200 mg Nearly all men taking 600 to 800 mg. Why does Viagra cause vision changes? Viagra is effective on erectile dysfunction because it inhibits phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE-5), an enzyme that enhances the effects of nitric oxide, which is released during sexual stimulation to relax the smooth muscle of the penis and facilitate blood inflow. However, the drug also has a milder inhibiting effect on PDE-6, an enzyme actively present in retinal photoreceptors. This causes an increase in the concentration of cyclicGMP, resulting in a depolarization of the rod cell – and increased light sensitivity and the infamous "blue vision." When do side effects occur? The side effects are short-lived and generally peak within 1-2 hours after the drug is taken. What is the long-term vision damage? Hard to say, since the drug has been on the market for only a few years. So far, no long-term retinal damage has been reported, but then again, long-term electroretinograms (ERG) have not been done, says Michael F. Marmor, MD, a Stanford retinal specialist who has published studies on the ophthalmic effects of Viagra. He believes the drug could conceivably result in lasting damage to photoreceptors, so he recommends that you avoid it if you have macular degeneration, diabetic retinopathy, retinitis pigmentosa or other retinal disease. (Meanwhile, Viagra's own label issues warnings to patients with existing AMD or retinitis pigmentosa because they were not studied in past clinical trials.)